


white smoke

by serenesavagery (windrunnerdreamer)



Series: because it's easier to lose you than resent you [2]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:15:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24069478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windrunnerdreamer/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: "Do you regret this? Us?" Shallan asks softly, and Kaladin faces away."I only regret what had to happen for us to happen."
Relationships: Kaladin & Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar/Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar/Kaladin
Series: because it's easier to lose you than resent you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736458
Comments: 9
Kudos: 10





	white smoke

Adolin Kholin was dead. 

The consummate duelist, the man who risked his own honor for his family, the man who loved fiercely, was gone. 

And Kaladin only detested himself, as he held the woman this man deserved.

* * *

He didn't mean for this to happen, he thought desperately, as his hands went into her soft hair and his lips met hers. 

_I'm so sorry, Adolin,_ Kaladin thinks desperately, every time his eyes glance on Shallan's sleeping figure, next to him. 

_I'm sorry,_ he wants to sob out every time he sees Renarin's gaze on him a little longer. 

_I'm sorry._

* * *

She holds his face in her hands one day, blue eyes earnest and knowing as they meet his. 

"Kaladin?"

He loved her truly. He loved her so much that his mind did not let itself occupy anything else apart from thoughts of her, but...

He just wished...

"Yeah?" 

They're in a private alcove- they may be Knight Radiants, but for a wife and a man jumping into an unmarried affair after said wife's husband has been dead for fifteen years wasn't lightly looked upon in Vorin society. 

"Do you regret this? Us?" Shallan asks softly, and Kaladin faces away. 

"I only regret what had to happen for _us_ to happen." Kaladin says, eyes suddenly moist and he feels ashamed. 

_"He'd only be happy for the two of you," Renarin spat out._

Shallan kisses his forehead, and Kaladin lets himself mourn a lost friend, in the comfort of her warm embrace. 

"Why do I...why do I have to miss that stupid princeling so much?" Kaladin whispers, after an eternity.

Shallan smiles, and her eyes are full of tears, and Kaladin understands- this is not Shallan. 

Radiant. 

"Because you loved him just as he loved you. That much should be obvious." 

And Kaladin sobs into her arms. 

* * *

That night, he sleeps, and dreams. 

Dreams of his best friend.

The best friend he had lost to white smoke. 


End file.
